Don't give me your one liners about faith.

About a month ago, a friend of mine told me a story. She was very excited because it was a miraculous story. God moved in a big way. There was a man who was associated with her church who had been diagnosed with a severe case of skin cancer on his face. The diagnosis was confirmed multiple times and while he was getting ready for major facial reconstructive surgery, he received a phone call from his doctor saying the cancer was gone. They had done a test to help prep for the surgery and could not find anymore cancer.

Amazing! Praise God!

Right? Isn't that how we are supposed to respond? I didn't. I couldn't. That wasn't my response. I was angry and as we were in a group, I was focusing on using self-control because that was not the place to express my response. I was so angry that God could heal this man in a matter of a month or two and not heal other people who are suffering.

But what really got to me was some of my friends responses to this story. One friend said, "wow, if only I had faith like that." Another responded, "Thank you God for his faith!" In our closing prayer I heard this, "God help us have a faith like that man" as if it was this man's faith that healed him.

I don't know why God chose to heal him, whether it was his faith, someone else's faith, or an act of God without anyone's faith, I don't think that God needs our faith to work. Why do we pray like that? What was insinuated by my friend was this, "if I have enough faith, God will do what I want. If God doesn't do what I want, it's because I don't have enough faith." In other words, this person's healing is up to me. God healed based on me and what I can do/believe? How is that different from believing that God loves me because of what I do? Or that God will only be a part of my life if I do things "the right way"?

In the strongest way possible, I reject the idea that someone's healing is totally contingent on my faith. Then I look at scripture and I see verses like Matt 17:20 "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”"

Ok, God? What does this mean? I haven't seen many mountains move lately. Would God really not heal someone else because I don't believe? Yet the truth is that I do believe. I believe that God can do anything. I believe that God is powerful enough to create things, orchestrate things, work in this world. What I have trouble believing however, is that God will. Sure he can, but will he?

I've been reading a book called "Reasons for God: Belief in the Age of Skeptisicm" by Timothy Keller. Keller discusses the idea of how can God allow suffering, perhaps meaning he chooses not to do something, and says, "If you have a God great and transcendent enough to be mad at because he hasn't stopped evil and suffering in the world, then you have (at the same moment) a God great and transcendent enough to have good reasons for allowing it to continue that you can't know. Indeed, you can't have it both ways."

If I think about it for a while, I can agree with this statement, intellectually. To deal with my heart though, I need something different.

Telling me to "have more faith" or "just believe, God's got a plan" are one liners I don't want to hear. I don't think that God works that way. The cliche's aren't going to work. Not for now.

Heathen Definition

Thanks to Merriam-Webster dictionary for this:

Main Entry: ²heathen

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural heathens or heathen

Date: before 12th century
1 : an unconverted member of a people or nation that does not acknowledge the God of the Bible
2 : an uncivilized or irreligious person

I'm referring to the "irreligious person" definition in my blog title. While many would agree that the lifestyle I lead and beliefs I claim are wholeheartedly religious, (and I often agree), my case for the title stems from a different perspective on being an irreligious person. As I have spent time in Christian circles, I find that I reject aspects of the American Christian subculture. I am not rejecting God, doctrine, or faithfully held beliefs. I am rejecting apathy, close-mindedness, and insincerity. Even in that statement, I do not fall into the camp of the stereotypical person who is against those concepts. I hope you find in this blog, entries that reveal a heart seeking truth, freedom, authenticity, and a God who is big enough to take the left and the right and find a middle ground that is passionate, on fire, and far far far from lukewarm.